Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Wonderfully Made...getting there

I am not allowed to complain about my body if I skip the gym. So, all day today I cannot have thoughts like "urgh that's not supposed to giggle."

Today I missed going to the gym. It's the second time this month. I had two reasons not to go. First, Matt had to be at work by 6 (which means he needed to leave in the middle of my workout time). Secondly, the Houston weather is playing havoc on my sinuses. I'm stuffed up and in pain. Blah.

Lately, I've been getting honest about my body image issues. I've had multiple conversation regarding my first marriage that I have brought up the fact my body image has been a big issue for a long time. I actually think my body image issues started while I was young. It's crazy how a person can say things (that are almost always not intended to hurt) to a child and it can last with them for years.

I look at pictures of myself from years past and realize just how thin I was. My goal weight today is the weight I was in my twenties (150) and when I was at that weight I wasn't happy. I wanted to be thinner. My hope is that my head gets healthy as I try to get my body healthy again. It's not going to be an overnight fix. I'm prepared to do a  lot of praying and reading and studying to get my mind straight in regards to the way God made me.

My goal is to, at all costs, not pass this along to my daughters. I want them to know that they are each unique. They are each handmade my our Father in Heaven. And just like other handmade items each pattern is slightly different.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

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